Years ago I compiled a list of smart-aleck, sarcastic responses that I loved. Now mind, I would have liked to use each and every one of them, but I never would/did. I found the list back the other day while playing ‘pitch and toss’ (sorting though things to determine whether to keep or toss). They are tame now when compared to what I hear every day from younger people, but I still love them.
Perhaps I came by gathering this collection naturally. My father, who, even when we kids did something REALLY dumb, never made cutting comments (He didn’t have to. Usually a look was enough to make each of us children jump into line and feel like idiot.)
Nor do I remember him ever ‘badmouthing’ anyone. Even when a neighbor stole his brand new winter work coat, Dad’s only comment was, “He must have needed it worse than I did.” [Again consider those words in the light that: (1) the neighbor was quite well-to-do compared to our family since Dad and Mom worked a small farm and had multiple children, and (2) that coat, considering my parent’s income and expenses was probably a major expenditure.]
After Dad died while sorting the things he had kept over the years, I found a small booklet titled: “Snappy Comebacks”. I doubt Dad ever used any of them, but he still had the booklet after about 50 years.
Just like I still have my own list of “Snappy Comebacks” from more years ago than I care to count. And again, like Dad, I’ve never, nor will I, use them in conversation with someone else. Someday, though, when I can find an opportunity in my writing, each and every one of them will appear. I might even hunt up Dad’s booklet and use some of those!!
A couple of my favorites are: (1) I’m trying to imagine you with a personality, and (2) Does your train of thought have a caboose?
What about you? Any ‘snappy comebacks’ that you liked/loved?