09/01 – WeWriWa

Thank you for stopping by. These are the eight opening sentences for a new untitled piece. Let me know what you think and if it captures your attention. Hope you enjoy.

Jatham crept up the ridge. The earth-tones of his Ranger garb matched the hillside terrain. He ducked behind a rocky outcropping until the guard below reversed direction. Half-crouched, Jatham scurried to an oasis of cover offered by a patch of thick, low-growing bushes.

He and Marcus had spent the day tracking a group of followers of the Dark God. The two of them had hidden in the dense foliage at the foot of the steep hill. Their cover provided them a vantage point from which to view the trail on their right leading to the summit. Riding single-file, the fur-clad mountain tribesmen followed the pathway.


(WeWriWa) is a group of writers who agree to post 8 sentences of either a published work or an unpublished work on their blog on Sunday. Those who have signed up (and anyone else) has the pleasure of traveling (virtually) to samples of different authors’ stories, novels etc. Great writing! Great fun!

If you are feeling noble – and have time – I just started a facebook page that could use some likes 🙂 Thanks!



17 thoughts on “09/01 – WeWriWa

  1. Ah, Dark Gods and fur-clad tribesmen…I’m in! BTW, oasis of cover…liked that line : )

  2. You show setting and tension — I like that and your use of strong verbs. Nice writing. There are five characters introduced/mentioned in eight sentences: Jatham, a guard, Marcus, followers of a Dark God, and tribesmen.I wasn’t sure who was the biggest threat — the guard, the followers or the tribesmen.

  3. The snippet certainly draws the reader in and lets them know there must be some high stakes involved, with action ahead. Went and Liked your FB page. Terrific excerpt!

    • Veronica
      Thank you so much for stopping by and for your comment (also hugs for liking my FB page. You’re a hero girl.

  4. Hey Susan. You open with some tension, I like that. People spying on other people always makes me want to know why and where it’s going from here.

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