07/21 – WeWriWa

8 Sentences from: Choices

Thank you for stopping by. These are the opening lines from the piece. Hope you enjoy.

Kalieri Tales_Choices_AlduraThe chill winds heralding an incoming storm carried the stench of burnt flesh. Thaenad quickened his pace as he crept through the dimness of the autumn night, a darker shadow against shadows. He darted from tree to boulder to bush. His brown tunic, trews, and hair blended with his surroundings.

Lower on the hillside, a small cabin snuggled amidst a dense growth of brush. It became visible to his searching eye when the moon peeked between the thick clouds. The same fleeting moonlight revealed holes in its roof where the thatch had collapsed. It appeared abandoned, but the mind-call from his cousin, Gwenneth, originated from within.

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(WeWriWa) is a group of writers who agree to post 8 sentences of either a published work or an unpublished work on their blog on Sunday. Those who have signed up (and anyone else) has the pleasure of traveling (virtually) to samples of different authors’ stories, novels etc. Great fun!

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50 thoughts on “07/21 – WeWriWa

  1. This is a great opening! First sentence mentions “burnt flesh”, immediately we know something major is going on… and then the “mindcall”… intriguing stff. Again: fabulous opening!

  2. Great description it made me nervous. This a very intriguing opening! Great job.

  3. What a great bit of suspense and detail! It reads like you could see all this clearly. Nice excerpt, Susan.

    • Debbie
      Glad it is “almost smell” – cause from my research before I wrote this – it is not pleasant and from the descriptions would probably make me toss my lunch. Thanks for stopping by.
      Susan

    • Hi, Karen
      Yes, his cousin, Gwenneth, is ok but their difficulties are not yet over. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
      Susan

  4. I feel like a broken record today. There are some terrific snippets this week, and this is one of them! Really great visuals here. I feel like I’m with him. Terrific snippet!

    • Joanne
      I know the feeling – I felt the same way about all the snippets I read. Good stuff. Thanks for stopping by and for the comment.
      Susan

  5. Nice scene setting! Lots of sensory details–I’m especially wondering about the smell of burnt flesh, which does not sound good. You have me on the edge of my seat about what happened to Gwenneth. Nice snippet!

    • Caitlin
      Appreciate your stopping by and thanks for commenting. Luckily the “burnt flesh” is not Thaenad’s cousin, Gwenneth.
      Susan

  6. Interesting—clearly there’s a lot more going on than the hunt for a missing person!

    Great descriptions. πŸ™‚

  7. This is wonderful, Susan! So visual, and packed with information yet it doesn’t feel like it’s an infodump. Good job!

    I especially liked this: “… the dimness of the autumn night, a darker shadow against shadows.”

    • Teresa
      Appreciate your stopping by. These week-ends and the comments drive the “self doubt” bunny back into its hole. Thanks for the lovely comment.
      Susan

  8. He’s getting closer! I’m fascinated by the “mind call” and I am also curious what burnt human flesh smells like… the tension is building… you craft words with excellence and I love your writing!

    • Hi, Susan
      You have me doing happy dance with the “and I love your writing”. – Soon I’ll get “the big head” – just kidding. Thank you so much for stopping by, reading and commenting.
      Susan

    • Hi, DJ
      Pleased that you liked the opening. Hopefully you would have kept on reading. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
      Susan

    • Hi, Cara
      Thanks for stopping by and for the compliment … now just have to make sure they keep reader’s interest πŸ™‚
      Susan

  9. I like the stealthy imagery you’ve created…I hope his cousin is okay, sounds like she could be hurt or in danger if she’s holed up in an abandoned cabin…

  10. Wonderfully vivid description. You set the scene beautifully. Great work!

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