05/05 – WeWriWa

(WeWriWa) is a group of writers who agree to post 8 sentences of either a published work or an unpublished work on their blog on Sunday. Those who have signed up (and anyone else) has the pleasure of traveling (virtually) to samples of different authors’ stories, novels etc. Great fun!

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An excerpt from On Treason’s Trail- a fantasy novella. [actually 10 sentences but well … some are very short.]

OTT_AlduraThe clang of swords echoed. Blades screeched. Men shouted. His kinsmen ducked, sidestepped, and swayed. Flashing steel filled the street. A form collapsed in a scream of pain. Kin or Chorkin? Glason couldn’t tell. Clouds scuttled across the moon. When they passed, six forms, four with glowing amulets, remained standing. He breathed a sigh of relief even though his kinsmen still dodged and swerved in a dance as graceful as it was deadly.

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16 thoughts on “05/05 – WeWriWa

  1. I like the feeling of tense action that comes across here. I did pause at “blades screeched” because that verb is not one I associate with blades hitting each other. Am pretty curious now exactly who is left standing!

    • Hi, Marcia. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Interesting about screeched – what I was attempting to show is that after the “hit” the blades sometimes scrape along the length of one another — it was the sound of that I am reaching for.

  2. Oh, this is so well written. I feel like I’m right there in the action. Love the “dance as graceful as it was deadly.” Great snippet.

  3. Yep, what Goran said. Short sentences built flow into the snippet. ! Great imagery. 🙂

    I didn’t post this week, Susan. I never made it around last week, so just visiting this week. 🙂

  4. Great action. You created the sense of movement and danger very nicely with so few words. Thank you for sharing this with us.

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